I'm Sick...or Working on Gender Equality...or Both

So I've been sick this week. Like stuck in bed sick. It's a good thing I used that tax return I got ten years ago, (the last time I got one) to buy a Tempurpedic bed or I would never have made it.

Okay I would have made it, but it sure did come in comfortably handy, and it's not the only time, it also helped a lot two summers ago when I spent the summer in bed because I cut my tendon with a pair of garden shears and the dumb-assed doctor botched the surgery the first time through...or at least he botched the instructions to me, telling me I could walk when clearly walking caused the tendon to break. And by the way a snapping tendon hurts like a bitch. Just sayin....I have never actually passed out from pain before and snapping tendons did the trick. Passed right the fuck out!

Anyhoo. I was sick this week, but comfortable in my squishy bed of foam and other man-made materials. It didn't escape my notice that there were a lot of other people sick as well, like nearly every writer I know and a good many artists...coincidence? Who the hell knows?

I did however get a lot of t.v. watching done. I submitted myself to trying to watch Larry Sanders because A. It was the only thing on besides The Joan and Melissa Rivers show and B. The Late Mitchell Warren was waxing poetic about it. I wanted to see if somehow I had missed something.

Turns out no, I still hate Larry Sanders.

I got no writing done. My head swam dizzily everytime I attempted to think and/or type so I gave up. I also gave up on my healthy eating and excersising. There were several factors that went into this. One was Carrie Fisher gave me the creeps with her new Jenny Craig commercial. It made me never ever want to diet. Another was a long-hike preceded me getting sick. You know how when you throw up something it puts you off of that food forever even if it had nothing to do with that food? Yeah? Well I think hiking is out for a while. I may have to go to hiking therapy to overcome this fear that it will make me ill. And finally, I can't eat vegtables when I'm sick. I really can't eat much of anything except potato soup and bananas foster ice cream which is what I've been eating for the last 3 days. I think Safeway even made extra pots of potato soup in anticipation of me sending the Brownies down there for my daily pick-up. One day they had to go back because there was only chicken-ish soup, so I sent them down there to be ready for the fresh pot.

Oh yeah, the gender equality thing, I almost forgot. So you know how they say that men are bigger babies about being ill. I set out to attack that myth by being the biggest sick baby ever. I think I did a pretty good job. I whined about my aches and pains. I cried for the exact foods I wanted. I generally gave everyone a hard time...I'm just doing my bit to get rid of gender stereotypes around illness...pass it on.

Being sick is boring. That's what got me out of bed today. You would think having nothing to do but laze about watching movies and eating soup would be a delight and don't get me wrong, it is, but one gets to the point where they run out of good movies and they have run through the secret stash of porn and then what is there to do in bed? Knit?

No thanks.

So I got up today, I dusted off the computer and set out to write something, anything to blaze the cobwebs made up of soup, ice cream and porn and try to get some real work done.

Mission accomplished.

Now I'm going back to bed.