Of Gin and Juniper

Today, I found myself having the most engaging loose association rant in my head.  It was, I think,  influenced highly by the smell of Gin and Juniper berries.

No, I wasn't drinking some hip cocktail, I was in the shower.  Not that the two are mutually exclusive, as I type this, I see that...But instead it was a smell created by LUSH. (again, I suppose I should explain, not the smell of myself as a lush, in the shower, but rather the soap making company).  I  had bought on 2 for 1, their "punch" soap.  Making sense yet?

It shouldn't, it doesn't to me, but as it was very pungent I began, naturally, to think on Atheism and God and In-between things.  Honestly some of those thoughts must have gone down the drain with the smell of gin and  juniper.  But, what did stay with me was this and it makes entirely no sense until later, when it only really makes marginal sense, but stay with me.

Your atheist friends and your 'believer' friends will have you believe, if you call yourself Agnostic that you claiming the religious equivalent of calling yourself 'bi-sexual'.  Nobody wants to believe it.  They think you are merely in transition to one of the two sides.  Even when you really are 'bi' if you happen to settle into a dating relationship with one or the other side, you get the whispers of "I knew it."

As a side note.  I really don't understand this need for people to demand others to 'come-out'.  I really thought the idea of 'being who you are' was that you could do just that.  And if you don't want to scream your identity or think it does or should define you, that should be okay.  Which is why it was with mixed feelings I heard about Jodi Foster this week.  I do not care who she loves.  It's been pretty clear she is private and it was pretty clear for a long time she liked ladies.  I don't get people who wanted and needed her to 'come-out'.  She was happy, leave it at that.  Which is basically what she said.  But.  Having to say that just to acknowledge her partner kinda defeats the purpose, no?

Anyway... You know who is Agnostic?  Fox Mulder. Agent Mulder is the perfect example of an agnostic.  He wants to believe. But that doesn't stop him from looking for evidence.  He even concedes that sometimes his ideas are ridiculous.  Not often, but it happens.

Which brings me to my next deduction.  I'm sure this is not what Chris Carter had in mind at all, but I don't care because I think it makes everything better.  And, I really hope I'm not the only one who has come to this conclusion. (Otherwise, I am going to have to check the alcohol content in that soap and/or order more.)

I believe Mulder was the one kidnapped by aliens.  Not his sister. (in the backstory that is.  I am aware he was kidnapped plenty of times)  And this whole entire story is a construct of his psyche, trying to make sense of being a captive of space aliens.  Likely ones with probes and/or a desire to understand why humans make them feel all gleebed out.

It really makes so much more sense.  This unwavering need to believe in a story.  And it has a better twist than other theories I've read.  Like, his sister was just kidnapped and he was rendered psychotic.  It also makes sense of the big 'why' question.  As in -why would the FBI keep him?  Even in the basement?  More importantly...why would they give him access to the car pool and the credit cards and guns?

Anyway...Feel free to take that idea and run with it, I'm sure me and my gin soaked soap will come up with more in the weeks to come.

Did I mention the two for one?  

Television so deliciously bad it deserves its own award.

I want to tell you about one of my new favorite awful shows.  I know, why would you want to know about awful television, there is so much of it out there.  But, I am a huge fan of shows that take themselves dead serious and are hilarious because they are so bad.  It's a vice.

This show, I have found so fun to yell and throw things at that I have created an award and rating system just because of it.  The Mystery Science Theatre 3000 award.  This gets it this year.

Now, obviously I know there are probably plenty of geekishly devoted film viewers out there that have already thought of MST3K awards.  Who cares?  This is mine.

The show in question is in its second season, it's called "The Haunted Collector" and features John Zaffis ( nephew and heir apparent to Ed and Lorraine Warren of  Amityville Horror fame-or infamy) and his crew of sidekicks; or researchers-whatever-it's really not that important when it comes to entertainment value.

This gem airs on SYFY channel where you go to "Imagine Greater".  The premise is:  "Objects can hold energy and that energy can be used by ghost to haunt you."  Also Zaffis is happy to take these objects off your hands (for free) and put them in his Haunted Museum and charge a fee to show them to people.

On to the things I love about the show.

1. John Zaffis- John is from Connecticut and he has that Connecticut accent that just makes me smile.  It reminds me of my father-in-law who also hails from there and says ridiculous things just like Zaffis.  Must be something in the water.

2. Zaffis pretends to know nothing about antiques although he has been at this for over 30 years, so he always knows a "guy" in whatever town who he takes the supposed haunted items to for verification.  It's a fun betting/drinking game to just shout out what the obvious items are that Zaffis somehow can't figure out.

3. The research team.  They are so jumpy and reactive it's a hoot.  And unlike other teams, or at least shows featuring teams, they never finish anything.  Someone always freaks out and calls everyone to whatever room they are in.  There is one exception.  The lone seemingly reasonable person on the team is Zaffis' "tech guy" Brian who seems to be the only person who takes the time to debunk seriously obvious things like lights from traffic.

4. The pitch- Whensoever an antique is found Zaffis always gives the same line. "Could this be what's causing the spirit activity?  We'll never know....But I'll be happy to take this out of your house for you."  Hahahaha!  We'll never know!! At least he's kinda honest.

5. Whenever Zaffis cannot find an artifact to take home to his museum he never offers any other advise.  At least not on camera.  He quite literally tells the families/owners that they are on their own.  Geez Thanks John  -we were on our own before we payed for your travel expenses.

6. About 90% of the locations visited are businesses like taverns, casinos, B&B's, etc.  whose names are so prominently placed, so many times it's clear the only reason for calling in a ghost hunting team is to get their name on television and attract the crowds that like to go to those types of places.  The funniest example of this was one done at an off the strip Las Vegas Casino in which not only the Casino and its history were prominently featured, so was an aging "famous" Drag Queen. Win-Win!

7.  The Tech-Stuff.- The Tech stuff this team uses is silly-funny.  My favorite is the very controversial "Ghost Box" which works on AM radio waves that rapidly cycle until some sort of word comes through.  Good Googly-Moogly!  If AM or even FM white noise were an indication of Ghostly presence then I was haunted most of my childhood. ( I really wasn't) because living in the country trying to get a radio signal in the 70's and 80's brought up all kinds of weird noises, sounds and yes; even words.

But despite all of that I still have tremendous fun watching this show.  The whole gang tries to be the first to pick which item Zaffis will liberate and recites on cue "Is this what's causing the problem?...We'll never know."

Thanks John.

Rattling About In My Head.

So today, I find myself with some downtime, which doesn't happen often so I have time to think about all the posts and links I've read over the last few days and there are some things that are bothering me. 

First off, be warned, I'm a bit edgy this week.  I just submersed myself in Denis Leary land, and even though the book he wrote came out like 4 years ago and I have heard most of it, I just feel comfortable with his communication.  It's the type of home communication I wish I had, which I don't know, likely says a lot about me. 

Anyway.  First thing:

Last night we were out walking the beagle.  Her name is Sculley.  I named her that because I love shouting "SCULLEY!!!" Just like Agent Mulder did in X-files. 

When we walk her off the leash it has to be in wide open areas because she is a beagle and while she is fat and well loved, she will run for hours after jackrabbits and stuff, so we have to have time to walk while she tires herself out so we actually get her back.  Last night we walked along the levy close to where we live. 

It's dry and grassy and snakes, jackrabbits, coyotes, etc. live there.  She loves it.  Now, we came upon this couple who we do not know, who decided we were really bad dog owners letting her run free.  They chastised us.  Really.  Like a school marm or a Nun or something about how they had heard from a friend of a neighbor or something that rattlesnakes are out and killing dogs. 

Seriously.  They said that. 

I have yet to see a rattlesnake purposefully kill a dog, but whatever.

So, I calmly asked, "Have you seen any rattlesnakes tonight?"

Which I thought was pertinent as why the fuck would I want to know about supposed dog-hunting rattlesnakes?  But if they just saw one...yeah that's kinda important. 

No, no they hadn't.  They gave us the stink eye and continued on.  They probably talked about what bad pet owners we were.  We talked about natural selection and if a dog wasn't smart enough to get out of the way of a snake that actually warns big things before attacking then they are probably best left out of the chain of life. 

But that's just me,  I realize that some of the 3 people who read this may actually be scandalized but I do not care.  Animals are not stupid and will not go after things that are clearly warning them.  Humans are stupid. 

And just so everyone is clear, Rattlesnakes do not want to attack humans, dogs, bears, etc. They know they are too big and a last ditch attack will drain their venom, hence the warning rattle.  Nature is beautiful. 

We did see a California King Snake which actually eats Rattlesnakes so we felt pretty good about that.

Yesterday I read a link several people posted about a woman being bullied on a school bus.  Her job was to "monitor the kids."  It was in fact terribly mean.  But I couldn't help wondering about a couple of things. 

Who on earth thought this elderly lady was the right one to monitor their shitty behavior?  She did absolutely nothing (not that I blame her) she was obviously ill-prepared for the job. 

And what the hell is up with kids.  Bully each other, yeah, I can see that, it's a right of passage and I know this will piss someone off too but most  of what we call "bully" behavior is absolutely normal and will pass.  I know, I'm a ginger.  I got it every year, it went away.  Actually paying attention to it and talking it out makes it worse. 

But we never ever would have talked to an adult never mind an elderly person like that.  It was horrible and every parent of those kids have failed.  I have worked with some pretty fucked up ( that's a clinical term) kids in my life who are absolutely horrible, who wouldn't talk to an elder that way.  This is an absolute failure and is most likely due to parents being assholes to people in front of their kids. 

And is anyone surprised by that?  With the "Me first, customer's always right" attitude we have? 

Punishing the kids in this situation will not work.  The whole screwed up family needs to do some making  up.  It should be required and when they complain (which they will) about missing this or that meeting or their T-time, they should get extra hours.

Finally, there is this acquaintance I have who just came back to social networking for a pop-in.  Apparently this person could no longer handle whiny bitches so they just took off for a time.  Which by the way is the appropriate thing to do.  Why do people start flame wars when they can just shut off the computer and re- watch Buffy re-runs or whatever? 

Anyway, I'm sick of whiny Bitches too.  I call them "Emotional Pirates" or "Emotional Vampires"  depending on what book or movie I'm into just then. 

The point is, getting on-line and telling the world about your menstrual cycle and how bad your kids/husband/partner/dog/imaginary friend/ postal person/sales clerk treats you is so obviously a ploy to get attention.  Especially when you follow it up with something like "I just can't take it, boo-hoo." 

What amazes me is that people respond to this in droves.  It's like a perfect hunting technique for an emotional predator.  "I don't know where I went wrong I can't take it."  then 53 answers of "Hang in there baby." complete with Kitten pictures.

And yet, post something serious about the world like the Julian Assange trial (for or against) or the fact that Israel continues its neocon attack on its neighbors and nothing, nada, zip.  Same with culture.  Give people out of the ordinary music, art or literature and no dice.  But, "I'm out of coffee and my pants are tight and I hate my neighbors who love alternative music."  and 74 responses to cheer you up. 

I hate it.  It's a hijack. 

Anyways that's it, that's what's on my mind.

P.S. If you think I'm talking directly about you (because this has happened before) the answer is probably not, but you should examine why you think that...really.

Really.

Very beautiful "Trout Heart Replica" artwork of charcoal/acrylic paint, by @FreyaChild in The Netherlands...

Incredible fan artwork to accompany the Amanda Fucking Palmer's song: "Trout Heart Replica" Which in and of itself is haunting and sad and beautiful and sad again...all at the same time.

Fixing Psychiatric Problems Caused by Stupid Psychiatric Articles

Oh wow, it's been eversolong since I wrote a blog.  I just now realized this.  Blogging, it has its rewards, like being able to say whatsoever I like and not even having to make sense, because it's mine.  The drawback being it takes time away from things that pay the bills and special projects that I love like a child and believe should exist like SUBVERSIFY.  That's another plus.  I can plug whatsoever I like here.  But really truly you should if you have not yet come by or back to Subversify.  We are always in a constant state of change and recently we have been having many very public discussions on just what should be printed there...whether or not it is "subversive."  That's the golden thing, we print whatever we want.  We can and do print all sides of an issue.  Even when our regular readers don't like it.  Which has been happening a bit lately.

We do this because we believe, wait that should be in caps BELIEVE with ALL OUR BEING that free speech is paramount.  Not just for what we think, not just for what you think, but for EVERYTHING!!! Which is why we also print conservative arguments like one recently on a policeman's perspective of riots in 1968.   We would actually print more conservative stuff if people were brave enough to have intelligent argument about it.  So far, not so much. 

Anyway, today I read something posted by someone I love that I completely disagree with and I have a bit of time so I thought a rebuttal would be fun. 

As some of you may or may not know my family is in the field of Social Work and psychotherapy.  We often have differences of opinions on practices, theories and what not.  Today, my partner posted this article on "Identifying Your Emotional Baggage."

You can read it for yourself to see how you feel about it, but it pissed me off.  I'm sure the author would think I was pissed off because of some childhood trauma/regret/blah, blah, blah....but I disagree so I'm going to break it down. 

Okay, so the author wants us to believe that we react to things sometimes without knowing why.  They provide the example: "At times, the level and intensity of a person’s reaction doesn’t match the level and intensity of the event. It’s completely normal and expected for children to lie at times. People who love each other forget about lunch dates, anniversaries, and birthdays. But sometimes things happen that feel much bigger than they really are."

Already, this seems like a badly written example to me.  If I am angry or frustrated because you forgot a lunch date it isn't because (as the author writes) I was disappointed as a child it is because you made a date with me.  You not only wasted my time which is valuable but you are telling me I am less important that whatever it is you are doing that made you not show up.  To me this seems like something that should be a big deal. 

We should value the people in our lives more than our work and incidental people.  If your work colleagues want you to miss lunch with your partner/mom/ kid to work on a project you should think about what is most important to you.  If it's a project you need to re-evaluate why you are in a relationship, because a relationship with a human being who supports you, will be there for you at the end of the day and the end of life seems to me like it should be the most important thing.  If it isn't to you, you shouldn't be in a relationship with me.  (Or you know...anyone else who feels that way.)  

A person should know enough about themselves to chose the life they want to lead.  I don't mean to say that nobody should view a project as more important.  Just that they should be aware of that when choosing people to walk the path of life with them.  This is how you avoid conflict, by knowing yourself and getting to know the values of others around you. 

The author of this article goes on to write about "Emotional Baggage" and how it gets in the way of our interactions blah, blah, blah.  Yes Baggage is unwieldy and anyone who has packed for a trip knows your baggage is 50% unnecessary.  We don't need baggage mostly.

But when we are disappointed because agreed upon behavior in relationships goes awry, that is not due to baggage.  In this person's example, it's due to someone being inconsiderate.  Pop psychology and easy to read articles on relationships would have us believe we should all blame a person's feeling and reactions on their past.  And this is great for this goal driven culture because that means we never have to slow down and consider how we are acting ( or not acting right now).

The author goes on ( as do magazine authors who don't live outside in the real world) to give 4 handy tips.  Here they are for you because I'm going to break them down:

The key to handling emotional baggage is to be able to identify it when it comes up. Here are some clues that your reaction may be more from your own emotional baggage then what is happening at the moment:

• You feel like your emotions are out of control and you can’t stop them. We all feel things intensely at times, but when it seems like your feelings are on a runaway train, it may be a sign that something more is going on beneath the surface.

• Other people express surprise or shock at the intensity of your reaction. In the moment it can be hard to tell if your behavior is normal or not. Sometimes asking trusted friends about it can be helpful.

• After things have calmed down, you feel like your reaction was too extreme for the situation. Often, time is all that’s needed to be able to look back and see things in a clearer, more realistic light.

• It feels as if the person you’re reacting to is behaving like someone from your past. If you think this idiot is acting just like my father, that’s a pretty good sign that your emotional baggage is involved

Okay,

1. You shouldn't "Stop" your emotions.  Your emotions are there to let you know something about yourself.  Like "Hey, I don't like being stood up."  Telling someone not to feel their emotions or that emotions are out of control is shaming them for feeling a natural thing.  FEEL what you FEEL .damn it! It's OK.  In fact not feeling and stuffing whatever they thing passes for a runaway train doesn't ever make those feeling go away.  It just adds them on to the end of some other list at another time.  So go ahead, look inward and embrace whatever you are feeling.
2. Other people are not you.  Who the fuck cares whether or not they are shocked by your reactions.  Maybe, just maybe they have never been given permission to feel themselves.  You really cannot give just anyone the power to tell you about your feelings.  They aren't you.  Also your behavior is normal, just maybe not their kind of normal.  Who cares?  Do you want to be somebody else?
3. After you have "calmed down" you have calmed the fuck down.  That's it, it's not an indicator of anything. You may have been filled with the most righteous of indignation, you will still calm the fuck down at some point and feel different.  That is because you cannot hold a single feeling forever, you're not designed for it.  Hopefully, you feel different because you didn't judge yourself and you allowed yourself to "feel" and it passed, it's over.  That does not mean your feelings in the moment were "unrealistic" stop judging yourself and maybe you won't be someone who judges others. 
4. If you feel as if the person you're reacting to is behaving like someone from your past....They just might be.  It might be true that you have someone on your hands that is not the right match for you.  It may be that they are in the wrong.  Certainly if you feel bad about anything you should take a look at that emotion and see if you can live with it because it's highly unlikely they are going to change.  Feeling like someone is from your past is not necessarily "baggage". 

The article finishes up with soothing statements.."baggage isn't your fault."  (meaning it's your fault  you're not fixing it) and you can be better gosh darn it!. 

I want to tell people they are better.  They are better every single second that they feel things. Embrace your feelings, figure out why you feel them and don't let anyone tell you your normal reasonable disappointments are due to your "baggage"  that is complete and utter bullshit. 

Also it happens to be the selling point for therapists.  Selling baggage keeps most therapists employed.  You are a very lucky person if you meet a therapist who  wants to move you through what is bothering you right now without digging out every life disappointment and (wrongly) applying it to why you don't finish that utterly stupid quilt project you started on two years ago. 

P.S. It's because you don't really care about quilting not because your mommy didn't tuck you in blah,blah,blah.